SLAM!!!

I knew the feeing was too good to be true. I had been feeling really good about some other stuff going on in our life. Then today...SLAM!!! I just don't understand.

Anyway - as for the adoption, nothing new. Not really expecting anything before mid-October.


More later if I feel up to it.

Looking forward to a GREAT weekend

The week is almost over and we are looking at the makings of a wonderful weekend. My parents are coming in tonight to spend the weekend with us. Tomorrow Mike and i are treating them to a "Night on the town". They celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary this year and our gift to them is tickets to Mama Mia and dinner at the 21 Club. So tomorrow is the night! The four of us will invading NYC for the evening of fun! My parents used to take me into the city for on a fairly regular basis to see the sites and many broadway shows. It's one of the traditions we hope to share with our future child in hopes that he will have the some of the same childhood memories.

The last 3 days were extremely LONG, which makes this weekend a very much NEEDED weekend! The seminar I was attending was good, but the days were very long. Add that to a nearly 3 hour trip in and out of the city (door to door) and you have the makings for a very tired me!!!

Although I will not go into detail we did receive some good news yesterday that opens the door for some potential good news in the future. There was a sigh of relief followed by the realization of the good that may come from hearing the news. Had the news not been good it would have basically been a door slamming in our faces. So all is good on that front for now.

As for adoption news. I received an email from D Tuesday stating that the person who signs LOIs is on vacation until October 1. She said the D2 thinks we will be travelling sometime between mid October and early November. Which, prior to her message stating we'd be travelling soon (which was 2 weeks ago), was what I had been thinking would be our approximate travel time anyway. Really, in all honesty, I am pretty unmoved by that email. I am so tired of the emotional rollercoaster that I have decided to get off. I am not giving up on the adoption, I am giving up on hoping that what we are told is actually true. I have taken on the mindset of Mike which is basically D and D2 are both full of sh!t and that I'll believe what they tell me when they provide proof...and by proof I mean the letter of LOI. So on the adoption front I am trying to emotionally remove myself from the process...not easy, but I am trying.

Well I am off to finish the work week...hopefully, if I can figure out how, I will have pictures to post of our night in the city after the weekend!

Giving up

That's right...I give up. I am tired of asking "when?". I am tired of hearing "I'll look into it" or "I'll ask D2". I am tired of getting answers that are not entirely true. I just cannot put myself through this emotional turmoil anymore. I am done asking questions, and checking my email every 10 minutes for answers, or for that magical LOI. I am stopping short of saying I am done with adoption. but I am close.

The weekend was nice. Relatively uneventful, but nice and relaxing.

I'll be in NYC for three days starting tomorrow. I have to take a class for work "Transition to Management". Considering I have been in my position for over a year now, the whole "transition" part is a bit late, but I am looking forward to the class none the less. Others who have attended say it is really good. I am NOT looking forward to communting to NYC though, but forturnatly I will be staying overnight the first night, so really I only have to make the commute 2 times. A few days away from my normal routine will be nice.

UPDATE!!!! (not)

crickets: chirp chirp chirp.....chirp chirp chirp....
me: [sigh]
crickets: chirp chirp chirp.....chirp chirp chirp...
agency:[silence]
crickets: chirp chirp chirp....chirp chirp chirp....
me: [sigh]

Our Prep call

OK - so I don't read email as thoroughly as I should and realized around 6:00 that the 6:00 part was not EDT, but rather MDT, meaning we had to wait 2 more hours for the phone call.

So at 8:02 the phone rang and so began our 2+ hour conversation. Lots of adoption stories, some horror stories, but all ended with families bringing kids home. I guess our story will some day be told as one of the horror stories! Hopefully ours to will end up with a happy ending.

The call was informative in that she answered most of our questions. The details she planned on sharing with us were not all that informative as I had read most of what she told us on the message boards. So really, had the phone call ended one hour sooner, I still would have walked away with the same amount of "new" knowledge.

Some of the details of what she did tell us contradicted what D had told us and when I pointed that out she was quick to say she'd follow up with D. Which means that D will now have to go to D2 for an answer. Once D gets the answer back I am sure she will go back to who we spoke with last night, who will then communicate the answer back to us. Sounds crazy huh? Yup, but I would bet my last dollar that that is how it will go. So needless to say i am not going to hold my breath for a quick answer!

One of the issues is the child we are hoping to adopt in jeopardy. I am not going to over-react or get too nervous about it until I hear an answer on it, but it has to do with the age of child we are 'approved" for according to our homestudy vs the age of the child we are hoping to adopt. We were told last night we would need an updated homestudy which is contradictory to what D had told us previously. We'll see how this plays out.

All in all I guess it was a pretty good, somewhat informative call. It did however make us realize that this is really happening. This is real...we could be parents soon. We each dealt with that reality in extremely different ways last night - opposite ends of the spectrum in fact, and had a very long conversation about it. I honeslty am not sure where that conversation is going to lead us in regard to this adoption. At this point, all I can say is "What is meant to be, will be."

And we wait...

So I tried to post yesterday about waking up every morning just hoping that today is the day we get the coveted email.."Good news, your LOIs have arrived". Yes, I know we should not be expecting anything for a couple more weeks, but hey, a girl can hope, right?? Anyway, it would take a miraculous turn of events for us to get the LOI before the end of September.

Then I got home to this email from D...
"D2 thinks you will probably go with another of our families and travel
soon so I will get [another agency employee] to make an appointment with you to go
over the travel papers."

Did you read that? "SOON"!!! When is SOON? I need specific details...not SOON!!! To someone waiting to go and get their child...SOON is like tomorrow! Oh well...at least we got some good news! Now if only everyone follows through on this and we do actually get to go "SOON".

I did schedule the aforementioned appointment, which is officially known as the "Travel Preparation Call". We will go over all the final paperwork we need to complete and hopefully get some answers to some travel related questions, although I am not holding my breath on that.

I guess I do really need to get started on this kids room, huh? I feel like I am suddenly slipping into panic mode, but don't know where to start in terms of getting ready to have a child in the house! As of right now our child will be naked because we have no clothes for him, be bored out of his mind cuz he has not toys yet....he will have a bed though, although it is currently in what is considered the guest room, and not at all decorated for a little boy....oh boy, we have a lot to do!!! But he will definately have LOVE....which I guess in the whole scheme of things is really the most important piece of the puzzle. And of that he will have more of than he'll know what to do with.