Our Decision

We gave up our referral on Friday.

We decided to give up on the adoption on Sunday.

Have not sent the email to the agency yet - not an email that is easy to send. I feel like I am giving up on a dream, but it is obvious that the dream is not meant to be. But then I think I am really not giving up on a dream. My dream is to be a mom. Adoption was just my choice on how to become a mom. We still have options. Unlike many couples we started with adoption as our first choice for starting a famiy. Having a child naturally was something we would consider later. Well "later" is now. Our focus has shifted to having a bio child. Maybe that is what is meant to be.

In all honesty I feel pretty good about our decision. Either the reality has not hit me or our focus on a bio child added a sense of excitement back into our lives. I am betting on the second though. I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted and we can start enjoying life again. For the past 2 years our lives have been on hold until "after the adoption". Now that that is done we can refocus on eachother and our little one to be (hopefuly!!)

Good bye for now.